This has to be the saddest time in my entire life

It is the rug being pulled from underneath of you, hurtful things that are sometimes said, it is the silence and when it is not the silence- It is the aggravation, it is the resentment and it is also a ten-thousand foot drop onto self-doubt and insecurity. 

He knows you in such a way that nobody else in the entire world ever has before and you wonder if anybody ever will again in the future. You shared you heart, your story, your fears and you also shared your scars. You sat in the passenger seat of his truck as you whispered the things that you had never told any other person before. In the beginning, this person suddenly and quickly became your 'safe-haven' and who also held you every single time that you was worried, mad, upset, confused, hurt, scared and even when you cried. 

However, it was not just you, though. He also told you about heartfelt moments in his own life; How he had two great parents who not only loved him very much, but they also loved each other until the very end. He also let you in and he showed and even revealed some of his own personal secrets. You held his hand in your own hands and wandered how you got so damn lucky to have found such a beautiful soul who seemed to have loved and cared for you so much and who you also cared for and loved back, as well. 

And then, in an instant... Your world comes crashing down. 

You constantly fight to convince yourself that the two of you will get past whatever is actually going on, that things will be different and that things will also get better eventually. 

 But they do not get better and every single day, you seem to only find yourself feeling worse. That once 'safe place' no longer feels safe and comforting anymore, but you just cannot bring yourself to stay away from him for good, because you do not think that you will ever feel the same way for another person, the same way in which you feel about him. 

However, if he is not who you once thought that he was, then you have fallen for a 'stone-angel', my dear; A carefully carved, perfect picture of something beautiful, but inside of it is cold, it is hard and it has no genuine feelings for or even about you and if you wait long enough, then you will eventually it for yourself - The stone will begin to crack, pieces will start falling off and you will one day find yourself standing there empty handed and all alone in front of nothing more than simply just a pile of dust. 

Maybe he does not realize the change in the tone of his own voice when he speaks to you here lately, maybe he is also wondering why everything seems to have changed between the two of you, as well -But then again, maybe not...

If he loves you, if he truly loves you and if he just simply cannot be the person that you need and want him to be, then he will let you go...
                                                                                 Or you must walk away yourself.

I am not going to tell you that it will not hurt, because it will feel like a drawn-out amputation of part of your inner-most self.

However, it is not the same kind of pain as the initial shock of finally realizing that he is not the person that you thought that he was before. In think that there is a sort of freedom in this kind of pain, though; A soft whisper within your very own soul that tells you that walking away is or will be, by far, the absolute best and also right thing to do in your situation, because you are or will be providing yourself with the greatest form of care that you possibly can at this time in your life.