We are never actually ever quite prepared to lose somebody for good, that may or may not be so close to us and also i our lives; To never be able to talk to them, to never be able to hear their voice, to be able to tell them how we might feel about them or in general. I do not think that anything is definate as death and I do think that we are ever quite able to go through something like this. We all know that life is a present that we are given without requesting and it can and will be taken from each and every one of us without so much as even a notice in advance, but i know that we like to believe that death is something that is just happening to other people and never to us.
Our family and our friends are immortal to us and they will live as long as we do, but unfortunately sometimes this only happens in our memory or our imagination.
A little over a month ago, my best friend in this entire world lost his life unexpectedly and I can still remember the feeling as if somebody just pulled the earth from underneath of my very own feet and just through me straight into the wall with great force and also with the speed of light. Every little thing that I had thought was so important, suddenly became insignificant; Not being loved back? Betrayed by friends or family? A broken nail?
All of those things are no longer important when you are facing a devastating tragedy. We so often hear our elders talk about how important health really is, but we also tend to think that it is only because they are old, that we are the Peter Pan generation and that we will forever be young and beautiful. However, sometimes a reality check is made by getting hit by a gigantic asteroid straight into the head and then do we begin to realize that someday, we are going to become those people. Maybe you do not show it quite yet or maybe your age just is not as high, but I think that your soul does. Until this happens to you, only the do you start to realize just how fragile life and happiness truly is.
After that moment, it is all a rush of emotions; From denial to anger, from pain to despair and back, from hate to sleepless nights. You even turn to all of the Gods and simply just ask for a change in history, but nothing happens and the days keep passing by.
As time passes, wounds begin to heal, never completely but they definitely hurt a lot less. There is no bigger bullshit than the one saying, " you are now a stronger person or that life gave you a lesson and you survived." Personally, I just simply do not find myself to be any stronger-I find myself less sensible, more arrogant and a lot more detached than I ever was before. I now hate the people who talk shit and also who just do not appreciate what it is that they actually have.
The lesson that I learned has been a tough one; It is no good and evil, there is no karma and I am still not quite sure if there is even a God, nor if he is good or if he is bad.
We owe it to the people that we have lost to live life to the fullest and to never, ever let them down.
In a way, I hope that these people will reincarnate and be able to possibly live again in a different life, because I absolutely do not like the idea whatsoever that they are just frozen in time while they are looking down onto us.
If you thought that I would give you a list of things that you can try to do to get over this , I am telling you right now that there is none and I know this because I have personally searched and I have searched myself. However, I can tell you what really does work: TIME- Give it time and things will get easier, better somehow, biut never quite the same. You will be a different person, maybe even a better one. On the other hand, I honestly do not know for certain about that, either.
Even in the darkest moments, just try to remember that you are still alive and it is your duty to try to make your life a good one.
None of us know when our time will come and I do not think that a single soul who thought in their last moments that they had lived quite enough.
1 comment:
You have been through so much and yet you keep pushing forward you are such an inspiration and I look up to you I cant wait to order your book and read it i think i may do that today keep your head up i miss your face
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